Ups and Downs

The last week and a half has been good in some ways and very difficult in others.  Feeling pressed for time, I'll just get to the point.

The Good:
Jason is 8 weeks old.  He holds his head up a bit more, and he has begun to smile.  He also has been giving me one 4-hr stretch of sleep each night (although I'm not always asleep for the whole time!).

Abbie is adjusting a little better to the whole "I have a baby brother" thing, and we are finding some special mommy-daughter time most days.  She also got to spend the weekend with my parents, which gave Tony and me some much needed time to breathe, accomplish tasks, and spend time together without the demands of our 2-yr-old.

The Difficult:
Jason is having trouble getting decent naps.  I've done some reading on it and feel conflicted about the results.  On the one hand, he was preterm, and therefore I should not be expecting sleep habits any better than that of a 4-week-old.  On the other hand, he is a large baby, and many believe that once they reach a certain weight (11 lbs, which is is surely beyond at this point) that he should be sleeping really well.  Well, I thought I had him establishing really good habits, until about 5 days ago, and it all fell apart.
Abbie still doesn't sleep well, either.  Her night-waking got pretty bad when we brought Jason home, and it hasn't resolved yet.  We are going to be trying this week to get her back into good habits, especially lessening her need for mommy during sleep times.
I'm having a hard time bonding with Jason.  It's just not coming as naturally as it did with Abbie.  I am aware of some of the causes, and am working through it, but it's still very frustrating.  I want to give him the same amount of attention and love that Abbie has gotten, but it has been much more difficult the second time around.

The Worst:
Our neighbors down the street lost their 6-month baby girl last Wednesday.  She went down for her afternoon nap and never woke up.  Abbie and I happened to be out walking in the neighborhood when the sirens came blaring, and I went over to see what was going on.  It wasn't until I saw a lifeless baby being carried out by a paramedic, followed by her mother, who I met through a good friend of mine, that I realized what was going on.  It was truly horrible.  Not a day has passed that I don't think about them and the tragedy they have experienced.  Every night, when I'm rocking Jason, I think about that precious little girl, her parents and siblings, and then how lucky I am to still have Jason in my arms. 
Her parents are amazingly people.  The way that they are dealing with their loss is incredible.  I don't know if I could ever be as strong as them.  They are also supported by many folks at their church, and I hope that many of our neighbors will join in to support them at home, too.  I just couldn't begin to imagine going through what they have been through these past several days.