On Marriage

I went to a Marriage Conference this weekend. I found a lot of what the speaker had to say meaningful and worth further consideration. It's the first event on maintaining your marriage - or however you want to describe it - that I've ever attended, and I definitely think it was worth my time, regardless of whether or not I fully agreed with everything discussed. It was the sort of thing that I think anyone could get something positive from, and I'd definitely recommend attending one if you ever have the chance. Whether you're married or not, the principles of dealing with relationships can apply to pretty much all situations.

I'm not going to narrate the whole 5-hr workshop, but I do want to post a few of the tidbits I took away, because I think they are meaningful, profound, funny, or just plain interesting. Keep in mind that these are not necessarily direct quotes (although some may be). They are just whatever I wrote down while the speaker was talking.

• Romance is not a cause, it is a result.
  
• Your words and behavior are more formed by what's inside of you than what's outside of you. The heart is the causal core of our personhood. It is the steering wheel of our words and behavior.
• There is nothing that comes out of the mouth of a drunk that wasn't there in the first place.
• Most of us live in a world so small that there is no room for anyone else. Things that are not nearly as important can rise and control our lives, leaving no room for the importance of our relationships.
• We are very skilled at putting ourselves at the center of our own universe. Newsflash: In a good marriage, it will never be about YOU!
• In reference the your "flawed" spouse: This IS the man you married. The man you dated was a fake!
• There are very few treasures that have intrinsic value. We assign value to things (ex. money), and they begin to take control over us. Is your marriage propelled or neglected by these treasures?
  
• Good relationships are good because the people in them have prioritized them.
• The kind of investor you want to handle your money is one who loves you more than he loves his bottom line. (This is for Tony, by the way. He ALWAYS puts his clients' best interests first, which is why they love him. It's one of his best qualities.)
• Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being love is deserving. Love is propelled by gratitude.
• Make a concrete daily commitment to love your spouse. Be a joyful, thankful person. Express your joy and thankfulness to your spouse. Be determined to be a peacemaker in your marriage.